Moan for me like Helen Keller
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
