you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
