It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
