We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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