yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
