Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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