Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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