im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Mom said you looked used
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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