I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
