You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
