So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
