That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
