spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
