i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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