you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
