susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
