It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
