Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
