walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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