Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
