please come you make the beer taste better
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
