I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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