After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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