did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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