I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize