Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
