Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
