Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize