My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We need to rekindle our bromance
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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