yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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