I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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