How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
