There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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