Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
