one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize