Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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