Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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