Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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