My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
