We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
