i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
