I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
