Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
