For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
