our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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