she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
third nipple confirmed
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
