No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
