Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
