he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
