I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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