the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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