I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
