She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
