awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
