just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
