office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
