If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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