porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
