She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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