Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
