I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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