What a fucking waste of an outfit
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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