Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
