clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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