About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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