11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
