I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
